Whether buying a six-pack of brew, a new pair of shoes, or lunch at the local eatery, I'm continuously astounded at the lack of manners shown by service personnel. Call me "old-school" if you will, but, until you know me better, my name is "Sir". This phenomenon is more prevalent here in the deep South, but the virus has spread wherever I go.
I remember a sweet, young thing named Allison in Massachusetts who was one of my best servers. Hard-working and with a permanent smile, she was a breeze to manage. I never had a complaint about her until one day a table of business men responded with silence when questioned about how their lunch was going. One man, obviously struggling with the decision, finally told me, "Allison is sweet, and a good server, but when we're out on a business lunch with our customers, we feel being addressed as 'Sweetie' is a bit unprofessional". I wholeheartedly agreed with him, apologized, and told him I'd take care of it without telling her where the criticism came from. At the first opportunity, I pulled her aside, and let her know that I had overheard her addressing patrons as 'Sweetie', and as calmly as possible told her to refrain from this too-personal addressing of guests. 'Gentlemen' was thrown out as a possible replacement, while also explaining the professionalism might also incur higher tips as well. With big puppy-dog eyes, she agreed. I made it a point to be within earshot more often as she was greeting tables. She had a hard time learning this new technique and was caught many times. Finally, tough love had to be employed. "Allison, unless you want to be waiting tables at Denny's (no affront to those of you who may work there, I swear!), do not address tables as sweetie, honey, or darlin".
She was never the same after that. I guess it threw her off her stride or something. But, there are some things that just won't fly if you're trying to project an upscale image. Like chewing gum, my personal bugaboo. I know it's my personal upbringing, but seeing someone chew gum with their mouth open makes me think of cows chewing their cud. In my opinion (as humble as that may be), it instantly takes 20 points off your I.Q. One of my current peers does it, and it drives me bat-shit. Whenever I would see one of my servers sneaking a chew, I would grab a bev-nap, walk up to them, wherever they were (not in front of their guests), hold it out, and say, "Spit it out!" (I would, however, do it in front of their peers, to prove a point). If they were worried about their breath, I would offer them a mint from my briefcase (my man-purse I would joke). I still kid my dad about my gum aversion, since he was the one who instilled that into my psyche.
I had lunch a couple of weeks ago at a Denny's. Everything went fine until my male server greeted me. A server young enough to be my son, if I had been so inclined. "Hi buddy, what can I get you?" Long pause. This is not my restaurant, keep calm. I went on with my order. He did a really good job with all the steps of service, but each visit was injected with the sobriquet 'buddy'. "More sweet tea, buddy?" "Would you like dessert today, buddy?" "I'll be right back with your check, buddy." At least 8 times I was addressed as 'buddy'. It's a wonder I could chew with my teeth clenched and tongue bitten like they were. What's worse, the table of women next to me were addressed as "ladies" throughout their meal. I know, I should have done him a favor and left him a nice little note, but I constantly remind myself that I'm not in the business anymore. People couldn't care less about my experience, and are not looking for tips on how to improve their service. I just left him 20% and left, wishing I had the balls to say something.
Twenty years ago, I would have replied to being called 'Sir' with the standard, "I'm not 'Sir', that's my dad". When I was a server, I was guilty of calling tables 'you guys', as in "Would you guys like to see the wine list?" Or the other stand-by was 'you folks'. With experience and age, one learns that tables like to be called 'ladies and gentlemen', whether they are or not. Now I like to be called 'Sir', and don't take it as an affront. I view it as respect.
And next time, I'm leaving a note if they don't.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Great blog. I just came over from your post on mine (I do appreciate the comments), and I like what I see so far.
It's intersting. Now that I am out of the restaurant industry, I can view the situations and people a bit more objectively, and I finally understand that my managers were not, for the most part, simply controlling assholes trying to seem superior. There was actually a purpose for the criticism -- again, for the most part -- and I may have learned something had I not been so stubborn.
Please understand, the reason wait staff ignore management is due to the attitude most managers have, and it is worth noting that the best managers help the staff feel as if they are working WITH management, as opposed to FOR management. Does that make sense?
You seem as if you are one of the good guys -- lead by example and all that -- and I'll wager you have your share of stories to share, yes?
I'll look around some more and see....
Peace,
- Dennis
www.donttipthewaiter.blogspot.com
I've gotta admit, most managers are out there for their own good. Being liked by the staff can be detrimental to your career. Big bosses often see popularity as being a bad thing.
No question, ex-RM. At the same time, the best manager I ever worked with gave the vibe of "having been there."
Far too many managers simply work their way up through the ranks, become managers by default without proper training (meaning they've grown out of the hourly position), and forget everything they experienced on the floor.
Though I think the worst is the manager who wants EVERYONE to love him/her...wait staff, other managers, superiors. These individuals tend to be rather two-faced, and ultimately do what it takes to save their own necks.
Isn't it fun to watch the evolution of staff employee-turned-manager?
Peace.
Fun, but also enlightening. Those who are full of themselves often self-distruct, those with humility often fare well. One place I was thrust into, I introduced myself as the 'new dufus'. They seemed to appreciate that, and wanted to help me do well.
Ahhh you would hate my little joint then. I wear flip-flops and carry around a dirty wash rag.
Uhhh, beg pardon? Does anyone out there speak Portuguese who can help with a translation?
Post a Comment