Get a Clue

At least once a week, some poor soul walks into our store with an awe-struck look and a spiral binder. These are people who have the mis-guided dream of opening their own restaurant. They either have the "best recipe ever" for pulled pork, or are looking to supplant their retirement with income from a concession stand. Today, we had TWO within an hour of each other.

Their first question is always, "Where's the used equipment?"

To which we answer, "We try to stay far, far away from the used stuff."

Then, they go over their list of stuff they need and want price quotes for them. By tomorrow. For a place they may or may not open within a year. Our next questions are always, "Do you have a location in mind?" "Does it have a hood system in place?" "Is the site plumbed for gas or wired for 208 volts?"

The next inquiry should be, "Have you had your head examined?" or "How much of your life are you willing to give up to break even your first year if you're lucky?" or "Do you have any idea what it takes to run a restaurant?" or "Are you Nucking Futs?"

These people have no idea what the difference is between a high-temp or low-temp dishwasher is. Or what a 1/6th pan is. Or if they need a hood system over their gas 10,000 BTU deep fryer.

I'm tired of teaching these people the rules only to be castigated over the cost of a convection oven. Some do minimal research over the Internet into the cost of equipment, yet do no research into the hours necessary to run a place. Yet they want me to spend hours putting together a quote on equipment they will never be able to afford. For a restaurant they will never get the financing for. And are unwilling to spend the time to run.

And, oh yeah, can you give me directions to the place that sells used equipment? Yeah. Take a right on Bite My Ass Avenue and drive until you pass Up Yours Boulevard. It's right next to Delusional Depot.

The "Enlightened South"

When I first chose the Panhandle of Florida as my "final destination", I figured being on the coast in a highly-touted tourist destination would afford me a home with a little taste. A little discernment. A higher level of sophistication than the rest of the South I came to know growing up in the middle of Mississippi. Oh, how wrong I was.



I've become something of a Masochist by reading the letters to the editor and the comments to those letters in the daily paper via http://www.pnj.com/. If you really want to know what's happening in your community, you read what people write into the paper. And it's a real eye-opener. Below are a few quotes, verbatim, from this last week. These snippets will let you know what I have to put up with on a daily basis:

As for the war of Northern Aggression, the wrong side won and therefore did not get to write the true history. And BTW, I was born and raised in the Northeast but now re-educated.

The commies in the ACLU should be lined up against a wall and shot.

Here's another oxymoron for you morons. EVOLUTIONARY SCIENCE!

FAIL TO THE COMMUNITY DISORGANIZER!!!!!!!!!!

What's the difference between Obama and Hitler? Hitler GOT the Olympics!

Afghanistan is now Barry's war

...and no valid birth certificate...

Dingle Barry sat on his thumbs and "evaluted" [sic]...meanwhile people died!!!!!!!

I don't understand why insurance reform has to come with a "public option" and all the other nonsense. All I want is a fair coverage without loopholes for a fair cost.

...the REAL news organizations like FOX News and Newsmax.com...

So there ya go. The level of sophistication is right up there with Selma, Alabama, circa 1960. Back then, the bad guys were the Democrats with George Wallace the spear-carrier. My, how things have changed. It's like the Republicans and Democrats went into the way-back machine and came out opposite the way they went in.

Beav, we're in for a long fight.

Regressives

Today at work, a co-worker, Ditto-Head (DH), who I've written about before, came flouncing out of his office all a-twitter. He is, as all 3 of you who follow my blog knows, a raving right-winger. He had such great news. "Chicago lost the Olympics, Ha Ha, Obama struck out after spending all that money to fly to Denmark!"

An American city lost millions of dollars in potential income and untold jobs and he's ecstatic. Because a President he despises supported it. I turned to my co-worker, who is another right-winger and Chicago native and said, "I just don't understand someone who would rather see America go down in flames than see it succeed under a President he despises." Even he shook his head and said, "That's the way he was raised."

All this negativity. All for revenge. People like him, thankfully, are a small but vocal minority. But, they are all you hear on local talk radio, since Progressive talk is but a few scant hours each week here in the Panhandle of Florida.

This region has had an unfortunate amount of publicity lately, what with the stories of a Pace High School principal brought up on charges of pushing prayer to a captive audience. Luckily, that's pretty much limited to the north side of the county I live in. They're pretty isolated up there from the real world. If you're not a Baptist Bible-thumper, then you're an interloper and not welcome. They don't call it L.A. (Lower Alabama) for no reason.

I'm not saying those who choose to live there are not inherently good people. I'm just saying that when you drive Hwy 90 through Pace and Milton, the banjo music from Deliverance echos off of all the Baptist churches in town. There's a reason that alcohol is not allowed to be sold in northern Santa Rosa county on Sundays. Attendance and tithing would be way lower, I'm sure, if it were allowed. I know that there are very few nice restaurants in the area, since Sunday is a big money-maker for nice restaurants that offer wine and other drinks everywhere else in the country. In restaurants that I've worked in, Sunday is the third busiest day of the week. Not so much here.

I've commented before on the AM talk radio station there, WEBY 1330. Because of their support, a principal of Pace High School raised over $70,000 for his defense when he was found guilty of ignoring a court order to stop forcing prayer at a school sponsored event. I'm sure he will be a future Republican nominee for some political office. And I'm also sure, he will be a shoe-in there.

I just cannot wrap my head around how people would rather see our country suffer than to support our President in these tough times. Which was inherited from the previous administration. Who get no blame. Selective amnesia for the masses. Brought to you by Fox, Rush, Hannity, Beck, O'Reilly, and the rest of "The Fourth Reich" who wish to over-throw our duly elected President from their plantation mind-set.

A Wake...In a Way

Today, I visited a local restaurant for the last time. Not because I disliked it, or got bad food, or didn't feel welcome. Quite the contrary, I felt most welcome and they had the best raw and fried oysters within a 2-hour drive, maybe more.

I got the call on Thursday. I was paged while in the glass warehouse and came out to my desk where my co-worker told me that Trudy from the oyster bar was on line 2. I rolled my eyes, thinking they wanted me to drop off something after work like I had so many times before. I was unprepared for what Trudy said to me though. Sunday would be their last day open as they did not have enough business to keep going. She asked me if I could look up what they had paid for all the equipment that they had bought from us so they would know better what to ask for it.

I could hear the sadness in her voice, but also a tinge of relief. The owners are 60ish and have had restaurants in Louisiana before. They knew they had a good product and thought they had a good location. Never mind that the last two restaurants in the same location lasted less than a year each. Lot's of residential surrounding them on the main road between us and Ft. Walton. No decent restaurants in the area (only fast-food chains, basically) and lots of traffic.

Unfortunately, that traffic had a hard time turning into the parking lot. There is a grass median there and you have to go 100 yards past and turn around to go back. Having it changed would have cost them $40,000, a sum they could not afford.

They had decent business for a long time and when times were good, they were getting by. Unfortunately, places that "get by" in good times are not the ones that survive when the going gets tough. Having a fairly high price point is another straw on the camel's back. In these times, the restaurants with low price points (fast food, diners) and high-end joints tend to do better. Middle of the road prices often go lacking in the customer department.

The owners are nice people and hard workers. Their offspring who they gave jobs to, not so much on the latter. The father has heart problems and probably should not have been working, but he had no choice. Sweat equity was a must, and the kids were there just for the paycheck. Never mind that the parents had put their retirement savings into the place.

Which is why it was so wake-like. This was one place that I hoped would survive and prosper and they made many friends in the area. Never mind that they were my first big sale over two years ago. They always welcomed me in. And my first beer was always on the house because I delivered stuff to them after work on my time. And they were good, decent people.

And I'm bummed. And stuffed from fried oysters and shrimp and cole slaw. But, still bummed.

Running Into My Ex-Boss

Over two years ago now, I abruptly left a job with a high-class (in name only) resort in the area. It was the highest and most prestigious job I had ever had, and I reveled with the responsibility. I grabbed it with gusto and put my all into that job. I worked 80+ hours a week for 4 months until I was burnt out and running on fumes. We were warmly received and I was as proud as that dude on cable with 18 kids.

When I was finally rewarded with an Assistant Manager, things were looking rosy. Until I was told that she couldn't close at night alone. And she couldn't open, because she was too raw to place orders. And she couldn't work over-time, since she was hourly. And, oh yeah, she's bestest friends with the boss. And, boy, does she spend a lot of time in the bathroom with that allergy problem she has...snort, snort, sniff, sniff.

Needless to say (to those of you with no life who have gone back to the beginning of this pitiful blog), I walked. I had to close a "spur of the moment" private open bar for some V.I.P.'s after opening at 7am. The bar would close at 2am. While the party was at a lull, I took the time to go to the office and pack everything that I had brought with me or had bought with my own money and never got reimbursed for. All packed.

When my bartender and I left at 3am, I was carrying many bags of belongings with me. I stopped by my boss's office and left my name-tag, cell phone, keys, and a nasty note. Before that final closing of the door, I went back and retrieved the note. He didn't need me telling him why I left, he had to know why, so why give myself a badder-than-it-will-be-anyway reputation?

I heard nothing from him until a few months later when he turned up at my current place of employ. Lucky me, I was the only one on the floor to help him. I don't know why I was nervous, but I was. But, I put that behind me. My pride was on the line. And as they say, "Never let them see you sweat". He also put on a game-face and the interaction was polite, but stunted.

We hadn't talked or seen each since then, but I had heard that he eventually left that "resort" and went back to his prior job with a respectable restaurant in town. And then I got the call...

"*****, this is Ex-RM, how can I help you?"

"Hi, Ex-RM, this is Dufus (name changed to protect the guilty). I need to place an order and to check on a previous order that Chef is waiting on."

"Okay, Dufus, what is on that prior order?"

It turned out that the Chef had ordered some replacement pieces for some tabletop items that they had ordered from our competition. And our competition didn't carry those replacements, they would have to buy the whole shebang, which was ludicrous. And they wanted those pieces ASAP. Great.

After spending way too much time investigating these cheaply made items, I got them what they needed. Did I get any thanks? No, it was just suggested that next time I deliver to their establishment, I should come in the back door (no parking, I tried) instead of through the front door.

Anything to establish hierarchy. Glad to hand him off to our outside salesman. Jerk.

Second Thoughts

I thought long and hard while my finger was hovering over the 'publish' button on that last post. I tried very hard to keep politics out of my blog in the past. Don't we get enough of that shit from more conventional means? I've started half a dozen posts over the last month and erased them because, damn, there are puh-lenty political blogs out there. I get plenty of it at work, mostly from our resident Ditto-Head. Today's rant from DH just made me that much more resolved to stop deleting those posts. Today's piece of mis-information?

DH: "Did you hear about Obama's latest maneuver? He's going to shut down the Internet and all phone calls in case of emergency!

ME: "And where did you get this information today, DH?"

DH: "It was just reported by The Drudge Report!" (And, yes, he does use Exclamation points when talking about his despised President)

ME: "Ah, yes, and Drudge is so non-judgemental and trustworthy. Like when he reported about the 'Death Boards' and the so-called forged birth certificate."

DH: "Well, it was also covered by the Washington Post."

ME: "Which is a 'newspaper' in name only. Let's call it what it is. The Right Wing Rag."

***crickets***

On a daily basis, whether it's listening to the local talk-radio, talking to customers, hearing this bull at work, or reading the comment section of the local rag, everyone is in lock-step (parallel intended) with the daily talking-point memos that the rightwingers are instructed to rant about.

I just wish these people would get their information from somewhere besides Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Matt Drudge, or Fox News. There might be more conversation and less accusation. Because right now, reason is out of the question. A commenter today on Pensacola News Journal's letters to the editor called Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham "astute conservatives". The only thing 'astute' about Ann Coulter is when she has too much fiber in her diet ;/

P.S. I promise to get off this soapbox real soon. I have a real need to talk about substantial stuff. Like dip-stick restaurant managers. For instance, today's run-in with an ex-boss. That will be worth showing up for.

Are You Shi**ing Me?

I've talked before about listening to AM talk radio on the way to work in the morning. Every morning at 7:30, I flip over to see what Mike Huckabee is obsessing over that day. Today was a lighter than usual entry.

This morning, he had an uplifting message about what to tell those impressionable young minds graduating from high school or college. His suggestion was to give these maturing youngsters a gift. That gift?

A SENSE OF OPTIMISM!

Are you f'ing kidding me? A High Commander in the Army of Doom and Gloom? Someone who has nothing good to say about the current administration or its policies? A man who's collaborators have instilled a sense of morose over a nation and given a pass to the past administration. Seven months of intense action to fend off Great Depression II has only brought about incredulty and sour grapes over losing the election.

This is the same party who took credit for a vibrant economy 6 years after Reagan's Voodoo Economics and Trickle Down Theory were debunked. And now, seven months into Obama's administration, Barack is solely responsible. Amazing.

And Mike Huckabee says that a sense of optimism should be spread throughout the land. Gee, Mike, how will you straddle that fence while playing both sides of it? Will you start calling out those silly "birthers"? Will you admit things look better today than they did a year ago? We may not see the light at the end of the tunnel, but we know the tunnel does not lead to a blown-out bridge like we thought last year.

No thanks to all you "optimists" on the far right. Just make me one promise. This will not be your Vice Presidential nominee...